Masturbation!

There, I said it!

MAS-TUR-BAY-SHUN

The big religious taboo!

It’s something most religions don’t talk about, unless some pastor gets brave enough to attempt biblical justification about why it’s so evil. And, usually, the gullible faithful swallow the botched biblical narrative presented by the only scripture that even comes close (pun intended).

We’re talking about Onan of course, who was the second son of Judah, slain by God as retribution for being “evil in the sight of the Lord” and disobeying a direct order from the Lord by being unwilling to father a child by his widowed sister-in-law, and “spilled his seed” on the ground.

Of course, the faithful fail to recognise that this text is NOT about masturbation. Rather, it’s all about God getting really pissed off when he pulls out of his sister-in-law before ejaculating, because of complex Levitical hereditary laws.

The truth is, masturbation is not mentioned anywhere in the bible – nowhere – zilch.

So why the big fuss? For some reason, European theologians decided it was completely disgusting in the 18th/19th centuries, and that mentality continued into most western cultures, and any other culture that was taken over by colonialism and infected with Christian missionaries.

Apart from that, masturbation has always been accepted as a normal/natural activity, especially as an alternative to getting someone pregnant. And yet it’s still something most “decent” people don’t want to talk about – perhaps because of the lingering effects of Victorian prudish attitudes, despite the fact that everyone does it.

Fortunately, medical/psychological professionals are united in extolling its benefits to all humans.

When kids hit puberty, there’s not a chance in hell you can stop them from enjoying this wonderful pastime (unless you happen to subscribe to toxic religious beliefs that you delight in inflicting on your children). So let them enjoy it. In fact, educate them about it!

It’s fun and healthy, so go for it!!