Conversion Therapy and the Elephant in the Room

Yesterday, I held a seminar on Conversion Therapy (CT). It was the first in 3 years, after Covid etc. A small turnout, but good engagement and discussions.

Every time I have discussions about the practicalities of confronting CT, sooner or later, it becomes obvious that there’s a large elephant in the room: Religious dogma.

How do we effectively reach those hidden in the churches, and help educate the churches themselves, when the doors are closed due to foundational doctrines and beliefs?

We can run education seminars and workshops, promote support services etc, till the cows come home, but if we can’t even get a chance to have the conversations with the religious leaders, and bring light to their dogmatic understanding of theology and scripture, very little will change.

Even those LGBT+ Christian leaders, theologians and scholars who are in the best position to do this, are rejected. When traditional dogma is threatened, no matter how loving and well-intentioned our efforts are, deep and insidious fears kick in.

Religious dogma (especially in the fundamentalist Abrahamic religions) relies on unquestioning allegiance to specific doctrines and scriptural interpretations, that must be protected at all costs to maintain the purity of the faith.

This comes from a complex psychological dynamic that humans use to create tribal security, safety, unity and stability and is part of a basic need, built in to us, and is essential to our survival. We are innately community focussed creatures.

But when these belief systems and structures become inflexible dogma, they begin to destroy the community. Slowly at first, but inevitably, those marginalised by these dogmas, begin to push back, and the community begins to fracture as more and more understand that humans are diverse, each with their own views and needs. Obviously, this is not just LGBT+ issues – it’s anything where a marginalised group is made “less than” in any way. We are currently seeing it in Iran, for example.

Eventually, there’s division, fighting, and splits. People leave to form new communities, but eventually new dogmas are created and the cycle continues.

But for LGBT+ people, they are generally the least of the least, the most hidden, and pushing back takes incredible time and energy, loss and trauma.

So how do we respond to the “elephant”?
How do we speak to dogma without appearing threatening?
How do we show the marginalised hiding within these communities that to question their dogma is not just OK, but healthy?
How do we talk to the leaders in a way that not just looks at the needs of LGBT+ people in their care, but also opens their hearts and eyes to the destructive reality of inflexible beliefs.
How do we show people that love, empathy, compassion, inclusion and acceptance, must be the foundation of any religious beliefs, not the other way round.

I have no answer, but we have to stop ignoring this very large and ugly elephant that keeps killing people.

Have the political footballs of “religious freedom” and “free speech” created so much fear, that “tolerance” has become the excuse to overlook and ignore?