Self-love

The curse of sacrificial love

The curse of sacrificial love

 

Give, give, give…
Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice…

Always prefer others, put them first. Love is sacrificial, it doesn’t come naturally, we have to work on it.

In serving others we build our own self worth through our disciplined efforts.

If we truly want to make the world a better place we must exercise compassion and treat others with respect and dignity.

Self discipline is the only way to bring change to ourselves – we must watch our every thought and action…

Blah, blah, blah.

I call bullshit!

Until we truly love and embrace ourselves – fully and unconditionally – without judgement or expectation – simply realising that we are exactly as we should/could be – all our attempts to be better/loving/compassionate/caring etc, are just smoke and mirrors!

All that stuff about sacrificing and putting others first constantly represses and denies the very thing we are desperate for – the very thing we are trying to give to others, but deny ourselves – unconditional love!

We live in the vain subconscious hope that we will receive this if we focus on giving – more and more and more…

Or perhaps our self discipline will please our favourite deity so they will magically make us happy and provide the love we need by mystical osmosis.

George Bernard Shaw said “Self sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing”. Ouch!

What are we really afraid of?

We think that the moment we start to give ourselves the attention we really need, we’ll become selfish, hedonistic and even narcissistic. After all, doesn’t the bible say that our hearts are corrupt and no one is capable of anything good? This insidious lie has crept through most of our cultures to the point where it’s completely accepted as the way it should be. So because of this, our only hope is to sacrifice our needs and to be humble, because God loves a humble heart. But despite our best efforts to convince ourselves otherwise, this is an endless cycle of self repression through fear. Yes FEAR!!

However, unless we stop the endless sacrifice, and love ourselves first and foremost, all our efforts are shallow and do nothing more than actually feed our “ego” – making us feel good, almost vicariously through our “humble” actions. We never actually change, we just get better at deluding ourselves.

Here’s something worth trying:
Love yourself in the same way you know others need to be loved.
Love yourself as you crave to be loved.
Embrace yourself as you would embrace a lover, who, when you look into their eyes, you only see their incredible worth and beauty.
Give to yourself as if you were the most stunningly amazing person you know.

When that happens – when the penny drops – when we see ourselves in that light – our love for others will naturally flow from us – without effort – like water from an endless river.

We are what we’ve been looking for.

NO external source – no God – no person – no thing – can substitute for this.

Imagine a world where we all know how wonderful we are, and see exactly the same wonder and beauty in everyone and everything else. No need to sacrifice anything. Does a river sacrifice anything to flow and nourish everything around it? When we see ourselves as this endless river of life and love, we can’t help but see everything else the same way.

But, but…  you don’t know me, you don’t know how dreadful I really am. You don’t know how broken I am. You have no idea! I know beyond a doubt that I’m nothing but shit.

Who told you that? Why do you believe it? Seriously? Why? And who said you can’t be any different? Your God? Your family? Friends? Society? Church?

Try it. Face the fear and step past it. Look in the mirror and see that you are what you’ve always been looking for. Allow yourself to live loved!!

Posted by Jim Marjoram in Blog, 0 comments