Silent Gays has been running for around 10 years now!
During the first few years, it evolved into a support service solely focussed on helping survivors of religious abuse and conversion therapy to deconstruct their religious beliefs and find their own unique spirituality.
I’ve built a website, run workshops, spoken at many conferences and events, been on mainstream media quite a few times, been in three documentaries, written the CORE (Coming Out Of Religious Experiences) Workbook, spent countless hours talking one to one with people through social media and messaging, emails, and face to face, worked with the Human Rights commission, been involved with the NZ anti-Conversion Therapy legislation, and much more. It’s been an amazing time!
The main reasons I created Silent Gays were twofold. Firstly, I saw an incredible need for those who, like myself, had spent so many years trapped in some form of abusive religion that not only denied their human rights but often actively “demonised” them and subjected them to the work of Christian “ministries” in efforts to “pray away the gay” and make us “straight”. The psychological and emotional (and sometimes even physical) damage is inestimable. Many will go to the grave, never having found the love and support they need.
Secondly, I felt I owed some sort of reparation to the Rainbow community for my role as a leader in these horrific ministries for nearly 15 years.
However, over the last year I’ve found myself lacking motivation, to the point where I haven’t kept the website or social media as up to date as it really needs to be. The project has been a labour of love, as I’ve used all my own money (apart from one regular supporter who sadly died last year, and a fund-raiser for a new computer), and despite some wonderful friends occasionally helping out with various projects, I’ve never been able to find anyone willing to put in the time to help run things.
A few weeks ago I finally had to admit to myself that I need a break – perhaps a “sabbatical”, or maybe a complete break, to clear my head and assess what the Silent Gays demographic really needs.
I’ll still be active in the community though, and will be available for speaking engagements, seminars, workshops etc, and will be on a couple of advisory groups. I may also start mentoring/coaching services again.
The other side of all this is about my alter ego as a musician. In fact, music has been my dream for as long as I can remember. I was trained as a classical organist as a kid, and went on to become a “full-time” muso in the 70s and 80s, working in bands, studios, teaching etc. But my adventures in fundamentalist Christianity put an end to that, and my musical endeavours were confined to the world of Christian music.
After I came out in 2011, I slowly returned to exploring my creative roots and have produced a small catalogue of music that I’m reasonably proud of. But I’m not getting any younger, and I’m determined to pursue my dream before I kick the bucket, devoting the majority of my time and resources to this.
So with all this in mind, I’m stepping back from Silent Gays for the foreseeable future. I’ll keep the website up as a static resource, and I’ll respond to emails as needed. Not sure if I’ll keep the Facebook page yet. I’ll also keep the CORE resources available, as they have been valuable for many people on their journey of “coming out of religion”.
Meanwhile, I’m building a new website – jimmarjoram.com – which will be mostly for music, but also blogging my thoughts on life etc. (You can check out my musical meanderings on Bandcamp). I’ll also be closing down itslifejim.pub and merging all my old blogs and book sales into the new site.
Well, that’s my news, and I’m quite excited about the future! And please, don’t hesitate to contact me if you need support.
Merry and happy whatevers!
Jimm
