A reminder that dismantling belief systems is messy and unique to each of us.
There is no one key thing that causes people to question their faith.
There are countless issues that we each face in countless different ways.
Yes, there are similar issues that we all tend to relate to at various stages, but how those issues are processed, the levels of grief and trauma we have to work through, or the horror of finding out how truly bizarre everything we believed is – these are all unique to the individual.
It’s incredibly frustrating that Christians love to stereotype “deconstructors” with a set of cliches and patronising tropes, but it’s just as frustrating when those who deconstruct assume that we all “hate” the same things, or even the idea that the biblical stories or theological dogmas that pushed us over the edge are the same things that will totally undo anyone with faith is really not helpful.
To be honest, I get a little annoyed at how shallow some of those who’ve walked away from Christianity can be – not because their reasons are invalid, but because they don’t really understand the depth and nuances of 2000 years of theology and doctrine and how all that can’t just be dismissed with a casual shrug. Plus, there are the condescending attitudes to Christians as if they are stupid for not seeing the obvious flaws, contradictions etc that we’ve had to work through, while we forget how that process looked for us personally.
Yes, when we see outside the box of Christianity, it does become obvious how deeply flawed it is, but when we mock those with strong faith that has been built over their lifetime, patronising and condescending sarcasm only increases their retreat into dogma and “personal relationship” paradigm.
Patience and empathy are key on all sides. I long for the day when religion and its dogma (especially the Abrahamic ones) have gone from the face of the earth, but we need to make real efforts to understand why religion is so important to so many people and what deep-seated needs it’s meeting.
I studied the Bible inside out for 40 years. I read countless books, went to Bible College, and attended endless conferences, workshops, seminars etc. My faith was built on years of hard work and passion. My relationship with Jesus felt totally real, to the point where I’d say stuff like “I know that I know, and there’s nothing you can say that would affect my faith.”
One of the worst things about Christianity is its completely conditional and patronising “love”. Let’s not treat those who still believe with the same lack of love.
