Hypocrisy

WTF is a deconstructed Christian?

WTF is a deconstructed Christian?

“Deconstruction” is a big thing these days. And there seems to be a lot of confusion around what it really means. While it may be different for everyone, there’s a basic sort of process we tend to go through.

For LGBT+ people in particular, it can begin with questioning why the bible apparently seems to be so hard on us, especially given that it’s impossible to change who we are. This causes us to dig a bit deeper into what the bible says, and ends up with us realising that our interpretations and translations are the real problem.

For others, it can be some sort of abuse by church leaders, corruption, hypocrisy or any number of things that cause us to stop and think about what’s actually going on.

Ultimately, though, we begin to deconstruct when we question why we believe what we believe. We start asking difficult questions that we’d been ignoring, under the assumption that “God’s ways are higher than ours” so who are we to doubt God’s “word”? We can begin to question the integrity of our beliefs and how they realistically affect us and our relationships with others and the rest of the world.

Often, it involves simply looking at the rest of humanity and realising that no matter how hard we try, we will never “save” the world with our Christian beliefs. This in turn causes us to question the character of God – or at least, the God that we’ve been taught.

Some “deconstruct” to the point where they can feel comfortable with a more “liberal” form of Christianity, and live with a reasonable level of integrity, which could mean simplifying everything down to just “following Jesus”.

Some find that no mater how hard they try, Christianity in just about any form, is nothing more than the opinions of one particular culture from 2000 years ago. Many end up atheists.

But there’s also those who look for something “spiritual” that is more loving and inclusive. Something that embraces all people, no matter who they are, without conditions. Something, in fact, that looks more like love than Christian theology does!

Of course, there are some who completely deconstruct, and then re-construct Christianity in a way that works for them, that actually brings life and love.

It’s messy and everyone is different. Most importantly, it’s about asking questions and being completely fearless about where those questions may lead. It’s about recognising deep biases and conditioning, and being prepared to completely let go, knowing that truth, honesty and integrity will always allow us to find our way.

As for me – I totally deconstructed and walked away. It’s no longer in the slightest bit relevant to me. Yes, I had to work through religious abuse and the anger that brought. I now have my own beliefs, and can finally address Christianity in a way that isn’t destructive. But I will never go back there, simply because, once we have taken that step back, we see it for the mess that it really is. And is it really worth the effort to untangle that mess?

Posted by Jim Marjoram in Blog, 0 comments
It’s Not Just Conversion Therapy

It’s Not Just Conversion Therapy

 

A friend made this comment that really encapsulates the depth of the issues for LGBT+ people around religious abuse and the implications of banning CT and hate speech.

The deep seated guilt and shame for LGBT+ Christians isn’t easily solved by just joining an affirming church or finding new friends.

Part of the difficulty is that the guilt is applied well before it gets to the “conversion therapy” stage as the teaching is woven throughout the belief system for everyone. In the church I grew up in during the 60’s and 70’s, there was little anti-gay stuff spoken directly from the pulpit but it was implied and inferred. There was a little more said at home (probably in answer to questions about what did the Pastor mean when . . . ) but somehow one was very clearly taught that anything except heterosexual monogamous marriage was the only acceptable way to do relationships.
This screws up everyone’s thinking if they have any degree of LGBTQIA attributes – the guilt and sense of brokenness is inherent even without going to conversion therapy.
As Gay Activism got louder through the 70s, the anti-gay theme began showing up more obviously in church teachings, and one buried one’s unacceptable sexuality even further, and took in the anti-gay mantel too.
Even though not subject to overt applied conversion therapy, every person that fellowships in these church activities is subject to subtle implied conversion therapy.
How does one legislate against that?
Hate speech, no, they’re too subtle for that. One of the last church services I attended at the ‘radical centre’ church I attended, stated that if a homosexual couple came into the church they would be welcome and accepted – but that a marriage would not be performed in the church or by that pastor.
So – they have worked out ways around the hate speech laws.
This is fast becoming the church’s normal way of dealing with it all – bigotry and hypocrisy with a welcoming smile and knife in the back.
We still have a long way to go.
Posted by Jim Marjoram in Blog, Mental Health, 0 comments

“Nice” Christians

It’s always bugged me. Even when I was a pentecostal bible basher.

“Nice” Christians. 

You know the type…
Always smiling, always have an encouraging “word” for you, and ignoring everything “bad” in the world and only trying to think “good” thoughts.
Plastic, is one word that comes to mind, or shallow. They are out there in their millions.

Most live happy lives and I guess that’s OK. But it’s not OK when you interact with them on anything other than how lovely the pastors wife looks, or discussing how your latest sponsor child in Africa is going.

I had a run-in online with an old acquaintance from my pente church in the 80s. She was commenting on the upcoming vote in Australia on gay marriage and was posting articles as to why we should vote no. I was quick to jump on them and point out the many flaws in the facts and research they stated. They were highly inaccurate and offensive for those who actually know what they are talking about.

The comments were all “oh, dear, how terrible, yes we must vote no!”. But I had the guts to point out the flaws. It didn’t go down well. But here’s the rub. You see, she’s a “nice” christian, so wouldn’t dream of confronting me with her real feelings, so proceeded with patronising comments that had that “I’m being firm but loving” attitude, and it was wrong of me to confront her and make assumptions about her views etc, and then finished off with “God bless”, and the unfriended me.

I’m inclined to think these types are far worse than the Westbro psychopaths. At least with Westbro you know exactly where you stand – there’s no fake mask, no pretence, what you see is what you get. (Yes, I’m generalising)

But the “nice” ones are insidious. They hide in their little isolated worlds and even when they “go out into the world”, it’s to do good deeds and help those poor 3rd world people and the “underpriveliged” (a very apt word). Of course, they may bring practical help but it’s always with an agenda of getting them saved and making them into “nice” acceptable western Christians, just like them.

In daily life, they avoid conflict, and if it arises, they default to bible verses, spoken in love of course. If that doesn’t work they may gently rebuke you with a smile and claim they still love you, but not your actions. They think that being “nice” is all they have to do to be “Christlike”.

The truth is, they are just like the Pharisees. Pretending they are wise and caring. Pretending they know best and we should just all be nice like them and get along. We must follow their doctrines and only allow questions that are within the constraints of their bible study guidelines. They are gutless, controlling, patronising, arrogant and everything Jesus stood against.

If you try to interact with these folks, you’ll come away feeling like you are the one with the problem. They may trigger all your issues of religious abuse, and then quietly, and oh so politely, point out that you are the one who has reacted badly. They may suggest a good Christian counsellor, or if you really get up their noses, they may snub you and remove you from their circle of niceness.

These are the ones I really struggle with, and I now realise it’s ok to call them out on it. It’s ok to challenge them. We don’t have to be “nice”. We have to be loving and compassionate but also real, honest, exposing bigotry and injustice – just like Jesus did!

Posted by Jim Marjoram in Blog, 2 comments