Conversion Therapy

False memories

False memories

The most popular theories behind current gay conversion therapies are based on three childhood issues:

  1. An incomplete bond and resultant lack of identification with the same-sex parent
  2. Childhood sexual abuse or trauma
  3. Lack of strong or correct gender role modelling

During sessions, the participant is prayerfully led through childhood memories around these issues.

Before commenting on the problems with this technique I will say, most emphatically, that none of these issues make people gay. It is completely unfounded and damaging.

What makes it all even worse is the occurrence of false memories. We create these memories due to the prompting we receive, the expectations of those around us, our desire to change and please God, and as in my own case, desperation, simply because it was the only explanation I had left. I “remembered” supposed events that ended up demonising my father and family relationships.

Here is an article by Chris Paley, author of Unthink

Remembering something doesn’t mean it happened

We come to the truth in many ways. We read books, think, listen to other people and experience things directly. Other people lie sometimes. They skip the important details. Our thoughts are sometimes mangled. The most convincing way to learn things is to experience them ourselves. Our memories seem to be our unmediated store of the truth: the things we know for certain happened. But other people can give us memories of things we never experienced.
Elizabeth Loftus and colleagues conducted one of the earliest experiments showing how to do this, and highlighting how dangerous it is to rely on what we remember. They showed volunteers a clip of a road accident. Afterwards, they asked some of the participants, ‘About how fast were the cars going when they smashed into each other?’ They asked others how fast they were going when they collided, bumped, contacted, or hit. Participants who heard the question with the verb smashed estimated that the cars were going faster*.
A week later, the experimenters contacted the participants again and asked them further questions on what they remembered about the accident. In particular, was there any broken glass at the scene? Those who’d been asked how fast the cars were going when they smashed were more than twice as likely to wrongly remember seeing broken glass after the accident. A single, apparently innocuous word changed what people remembered, and their memories afterwards built all the details of the accident to be consistent.
This was an early experiment. Researchers have since become bolder and better at manipulating people’s memories. They’ve had participants remember robbers carrying a screwdriver that wasn’t there. In controversial experiments, they’ve implanted memories of childhood events that never happened including being lost in a shopping centre, taking a flight in a hot air balloon and even meeting Bugs Bunny (a Warner Brothers character) on a trip to Disneyland.
When The X-Files was popular, the number of reported alien abductions, some recovered under hypnosis or in therapy, rose dramatically. It seemed like a fad, but the unfortunate abductees were just as distressed when talking about their memories as people who really had traumatic experiences. Memory’s a strange thing, and just as unreliable as those grainy photos of UFOs. The truth may be out there, but don’t rely on finding it in your head.
Chris Paley holds a PhD from the University of Cambridge, and is the author of Unthink, which has been published in six languages.


Posted by silentgays in Conversion Therapy, Mental Health, 0 comments
Exposing Conversion Therapy in New Zealand

Exposing Conversion Therapy in New Zealand

I’ve just had the incredible privilege of working with TVNZ (our national Television network) on a current affairs feature about “gay conversion therapy” (aka reparative therapy or “pray the gay away”).

So many people have expressed shock that it’s so prevalent. It’s not (or ever has been) the exclusive realm of cultish organisations – most of the big ones have closed down as they realised it doesn’t work anyway! However, it’s even more active “underground”, meaning thousands of churches have anything from a pastor who will happily pray with people to “cure” them, through to teams of “prayer warriors”, spiritual counsellors, and support groups that continue the destructive work in even more insidious ways.

It’s time this was exposed and the toll it’s taken on countless lives revealed. There simply is no place for this life threatening practice – and I use the term “life threatening” without hesitation simply because the largest demographic for suicide is amongst LGBT people in religion, and especially those who have experienced this so called therapy.

Sadly, so many of these “counsellors” are genuinely caring and loving, convinced they are helping. I was one of them! But that doesn’t excuse them from the deep level of abuse they are ignorantly inflicting on these people. Although I respect their desire to help people who struggle, I will do all in my power to stop them.

So here are the links to the feature on the Sunday current affairs show and the follow-up the next morning on the TVNZ Breakfast show.
They are Facebook links so they don’t have country restrictions and can be viewed internationally.
I hope to have direct links to the videos soon so we can bypass Facebook and stream direct from here. (They won’t open in a new browser/tab window so you’ll need to click the back button to get back to this page)

FULL CLIP: Controversial gay conversion therapy happening in NZ

This is the story you almost didn’t get to see.On Friday we were threatened with legal action if we didn’t agree to demands to pull this story about gay conversion therapy. But we think it’s important to show you this is happening in New Zealand in 2018.And as you’ll see, the men who’ve been through this controversial therapy say it’s harmful, and psychologists believe it’s unethical. Please let us know your thoughts.

Posted by Sunday TVNZ on Sunday, June 17, 2018

Last night Sunday TVNZ looked into gay conversion therapy, which is offered to "cure" people who find themselves attracted to the same sex.

Sunday TVNZ has looked into gay conversion therapy, which is offered to "cure" people who find themselves attracted to the same sex.It's illegal in some parts of the world, but not in New Zealand. Jack Tame talked to Jim Marjoram, who went through the process and now runs a support group for people too afraid to come out.

Posted by Breakfast on Sunday, June 17, 2018


Posted by silentgays in Blog, Conversion Therapy, Mental Health, 0 comments